


The Promise

by skimmingthesurface



Series: The Promise [1]
Category: Gravity Falls, Over the Garden Wall (Cartoon & Comics)
Genre: Cute, Dipper and Wirt are childhood best friends, Episode: s01e02 The Legend of the Gobblewonker, Family, First Crush, Foreigner, Gravity Falls Rewrite, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Preteens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2020-12-28 06:21:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21132086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skimmingthesurface/pseuds/skimmingthesurface
Summary: For Pinescone Week 2019Day 2: "So... welcome to the family."Wirt and Dipper grew up as childhood best friends. The summer that they're twelve, Wirt is permitted to go with the Pines twins to stay with their great uncle in Gravity Falls. Better than camp and better than a sleepover, this is a glimpse of what Gravity Falls might have been like if Dipper had Wirt with him. Or what Wirt's preteen years might've been like if he had Dipper.First things first, Family Fun Day. Or, more accurately, their first monster hunt. This is a rewrite of "Legend of the Gobblewonker."





	The Promise

**Author's Note:**

> A while back, Syl and I had dabbled with an AU where Wirt and Dipper grew up as childhood best friends. Since we wanted some of the elements for our original series, we scrapped the idea of posting any of the backstory, but I still liked to play around with the idea of reworking Gravity Falls episodes and wondering what would be different if Wirt was there and if they'd grown up as best friends. Probably a lot, but I've only tweaked a few episodes. Gobblewonker has always been one of my favorite episodes, and I thought it was a good way to introduce Wirt's dynamic with the twins. It's sort of similar to what I did with The Reluctant Hero AU, but minus the superpowers. And all the events of Gravity Falls and Over the Garden Wall still happen in this, just a bit differently than in canon. 
> 
> There will be five stories total in this AU posted throughout Pinescone Week.
> 
> SylviaW1991 wrote a few lines of Dipper's and Mabel's about 3/4 of the way through, so credit goes to her for that!
> 
> -
> 
> _If you need a friend, don't look to a stranger_  
_You know in the end, I'll always be there_  
-When in Rome, "The Promise"

“Are you ready for the ultimate challenge?”

“I’m always ready!”

“Then you know what this means… Wirt, say it!”

Wirt flicked his gaze up from the Wacky News magazine page he was reading about a man with a ghost for a beard despite the fact that for him it was upside down. Chewing on a mouthful of pancakes, he glanced between Mabel and Dipper’s matching grins. He made a show of taking his time with the food he had in his mouth, smiling to himself as his best friend kicked him under the table until he swallowed. 

“No.”

“Wirt!” Mabel brandished a bottle of syrup at his face and he went a little cross-eyed in order to look at the syrup man’s eyes. “You have to!”

“I don’t have to do anything.”

“Come on, man.” Dipper kicked him under the table again, inspiring a short battle between the two of them, knocking their ankles together like swords. “Ha ha!” Dipper brandished his bottle triumphantly when he had both of Wirt’s feet pinned. “Victory!”

Wirt stuck his tongue out at him. 

“Okay, real mature.” Dipper was still grinning though as he rolled his eyes while Mabel took it upon herself to stick her tongue out at Wirt before repeatedly poking her fellow sweater-wearing compatriot. 

“You know, you guys would be done with this already if you just did it yourselves,” Wirt pointed out as he tried to bat Mabel’s hands away. “Mabel, stop it.”

“Boop!” She poked his nose and made it scrunch. “Aw, c’mon, Wirt. We need a fair judge.”

“Yeah, Mabel always cheats.”

“I do not.” She flipped her hair, smile bright as she looked to her twin, jabbing the thumb of her free hand at her chest. “I just need someone to officiate so I can have proof about how much of a non-cheater I am. Then you’ll have no choice but to accept that I’m the best at syrup racing.”

“In your dreams maybe. Wirt, do it so we don’t have to put up with her lies.”

Pursing his lips, Wirt attempted to refuse once more - mostly on principle. Being the friend of two very competitive twins meant he spent a large chunk of his time growing up “officiating” these little contests of theirs. It was never that simple though. Whenever Wirt declared Dipper the winner, he was accused of playing favorites. Whenever he declared Mabel the winner, then she was obviously cheating or had bribed him in some way. When it was a tie, then they insisted on a rematch. 

Normally it wasn’t that bad, Mabel typically leaving Dipper and Wirt to their own devices to play with her friends, but since arriving in Gravity Falls for their summer vacation, she and Dipper had been fighting over Wirt like he was a thousand ticket prize at the arcade or something. 

“It’s not fair that you got to bring a friend and I didn’t,” she’d pointed out when the three of them settled into the small attic space, a third cot crammed into the corner that would go unused. “So I get to have turns hanging out with Wirt, too.”

“It’s not our fault that none of your friends’s parents said they could come.” Dipper had retaliated.

“Well, I haven’t known any of my friends for a bazillion years like you’ve known Wirt!”

“Again, not our fault.”

Though Wirt did feel kinda bad that Mabel didn’t have a friend, so tried to set aside time every now and then to do a craft with her when Dipper was engrossed with the journal he’d found. She was, after all, his friend, too, just not his best friend. That was reserved for Dipper alone and always would be. Forever. 

It just so happened that one of the downsides of having Dipper as a forever best friend and all-around favorite person in the entire world was that it was very hard to say no to him when being stared down while he was wearing a smile far sweeter than any syrup. Oh, that was pretty good, Wirt was going to have to write that down later when no one was looking. Mabel liked to read his poetry out loud to random strangers - and by read out loud, he meant shout at the top of her voice - and Dipper was going through another one of his “manly” phases, and even though he’d never said so explicitly, poetry was something that was probably very much not manly. He knew he’d never get teased about it from Dipper of all people, but it was still something he couldn’t help feeling self-conscious about. Especially when sometimes the poems were about him and his sweeter than syrup smiles. 

Yeah, he couldn’t say no. Wirt sighed, shoulders sagging, and both twins cheered and high-fived, knowing the signs of his defeat well. Crossing his arms, he leaned back in his chair, the rickety old thing creaking ominously, like most of the furniture in the Mystery Shack. 

A napkin was shoved at him. “You’ve gotta go all-out,” Mabel insisted.

“Okay.” Wirt took the napkin, hoping it wasn’t used, and glanced between the two of them once more. “Racers, ready your syrups.” They both lifted their bottles. “On your mark, get set… let the syrup race begin!” He tossed the napkin between them and they tipped their respective bottles towards their mouths.

“Ahhhh!” They both stuck out their tongues, shaking the bottles to encourage the syrup to pool by the lid. “Commentary, Wirt!” Mabel demanded.

“Annnnd they’re off. To what looks to be a slow start for both… uh...?”

“Sir Syrup!” Mabel supplied, keeping her eyes on her bottle as she pointed at Dipper, nearly jabbing him in the eye and coaxing an offended little, “hey!” from him. “And he’s Mountie Man!”

“Slow starts for both Sir Syrup and the Mountie Man. So slow, one would think we were watching molasses, not syrup, folks.” Wirt’s lips quirked up as he tried not to laugh so he could maintain his announcer’s voice, watching as Dipper struggled to keep from giggling when it deepened. “Uh oh. Looks like a very sticky situation for the Mountie Man.”

“Stop it, man.” Dipper’s brow furrowed as he tried to concentrate, then he stuck his tongue out farther and he tried wiggling the bottle back and forth at very precise angles. 

“Go, Sir Syrup!” Mabel cheered on her own behalf.

“Go, Mountie Man!” Dipper countered.

“It’s a close one, folks. It might be a tight squeeze, but I think-” Mabel actually squeezed her bottle to get the dollop of syrup to finally drop on her tongue. “Hey...”

“I won!” she cheered, coughing as it bypassed her tongue completely and went straight down the back of her throat. 

“Now, that’s what I call cough syrup,” Wirt continued in his announcer voice while Dipper frowned and peered into the opening of his bottle of syrup, searching for some kind of blockage. “Sir Syrup wins by a drizzle.”

Mabel laughed and socked Wirt in the shoulder while Dipper set aside his bottle and picked up his magazine with a huff. 

“You did see her cheat though, right? I’m not just seeing things here.”

“Blasphemy!” Mabel accused.

“Well, there was nothing in the rules about squeezing the bottle to make the syrup come out faster,” Wirt replied with a shrug.

Dipper lowered the magazine enough to shoot him a bewildered stare. “What? It should go without saying!”

“The officiator has spoken, Dipdop,” Mabel giggled, swinging her legs back and forth. “It’s impossible to cheat when there’s no rules.”

“Your logic is amazingly flawed.”

“You’re just jealous that Wirt picked me over you. Wirt likes me more!” she sing-songed.

“What? He didn’t pick you. He’s still  _ my _ best friend, Mabel.”

“Pbbbbffft!” She blew a raspberry at him.

“Don’t ‘pbbbbffft’ me.”

Wirt sighed, trying to see over the top of the magazine, disgruntled to find that Dipper was adamant on hiding behind it. “See, this is why I don’t like being the judge for you guys...”

They immediately got over their fight, shooting him matching smiles. “Aw, come on. You know you love us.” Mabel gestured between her and Dipper, eyebrows wiggling. 

Wirt snorted, but returned the smile before stabbing at another piece of syrup-soaked pancake on his plate. “You’re just so irresistible,” he concurred dryly.

“You know it.” Mabel wriggled in her seat, then hacked loudly to clear the syrup from her throat while Dipper flipped through a few pages in the magazine. 

Dipper’s impressed laugh caught both of their attentions. “No way! Hey, guys, check this out.”

He turned Wacky News around so that both Mabel and Wirt could see it, though the latter had to lean forward a bit, ending up with syrup on his sweater sleeve. He made a face at it, but Dipper shook the magazine pages to recapture his attention and keep him focused on the task at hand. The first thing he noted was an ad for human-sized hamster balls, but he knew Dipper well enough that that couldn’t possibly be what he was so excited about, though the hamster on the page looked really cute. 

Mabel, on the other hand, found the ad to be very exciting. “Human-sized hamster balls! I’m human-sized!” She grinned at Wirt, waiting for him to share in her revelation and he simply offered her a small smile. 

“No, no,” Dipper quickly corrected, waving his hand to get them both to look at him again. “Mabel, this.” 

He pointed to the article on the opposite page from the ad. “Monster Photo Contest” was the headline, with a picture of what appeared to be a bug-eyed, horned Big Foot, maybe, next to a goofy, grinning guy. Dollar signs littered the page in what was an obvious marketing ploy, though the prize of one thousand dollars wasn’t something to sneeze at. One thousand dollars could buy a lot of video games and ice cream and trips to the theme park between him and Dipper. He hummed thoughtfully, glancing up at Dipper to confirm his hunch that his friend wanted to enter. 

“We see weirder stuff than that every day! We didn’t get any photos of those gnomes, did we?” Dipper asked, looking between them. 

Wirt shook his head, having only come in at the tail end of the gnome fiasco when he heard a crash while sweeping the back porch for Grunkle Stan and came around to find the golf cart tipped over and a giant gnome monster towering over the twins. He’d been far too panicked to do anything other than… well, panic. 

“Nope!” Mabel confirmed. “Just memories! And this beard hair.”

Wirt and Dipper both leaned away from her as she waved it in their faces. “Why did you save that?” her twin almost hesitated to ask, cringing.

She shrugged with an innocent, “Mm-mm-mm.”

A huffy, old man sound distracted them, all three of them turning their heads as their summer guardian shuffled into the kitchen in his underwear and slippers. “Good morning, knuckleheads,” he greeted, oddly cheerful as he brandished a rolled up newspaper. “You three know what day it is?”

“Uh…” Dipper looked to Wirt first, then Mabel, but both of them just stared at him. “Happy…” he drew out each syllable as he guessed, “Anniversary?”

“Mazel Tov!” Mabel cheered, supporting his decision. 

Wirt jumped as Stan smacked Dipper in the head with his newspaper, dislodging his hat and temporarily blinding him. “It’s Family Fun Day, genius,” Stan grunted at him. “We’re cutting off work early to have one of those… you know, bonding-type deals.”

Dipper shot Wirt a concerned look once he straightened his hat, then glanced at his great-uncle. “Grunkle Stan,” he broached hesitantly, “is this going to be anything like our last family bonding day?”

Wirt tensed, worry lines creasing his eyes, while Mabel shuddered, actually unnerved about that memory in particular. “The county jail was so cold,” she murmured. 

Under the table, Wirt nervously tapped his foot to Dipper’s in lieu of grabbing his hand. It was a habit he was struggling to break after getting teased for it all through sixth grade, and the last thing he wanted was for people to find some other reason to make fun of Dipper, but so far it wasn’t working. He only felt a little bad about it though, since Dipper didn’t seem to mind the hand-holding. It was just something they’d always done. Dipper tapped back to reassure him, silently communicating that if the next family bonding activity seemed questionable, then they’d find a way to beg off. 

It wasn’t like Wirt was technically a part of their family anyway, no matter how long he’d known the twins. Wirt wasn’t really technically part of anyone’s family. His mom had her new husband and her new son. His dad had his new life. There wasn’t really space for Wirt. The fact that his mom was even letting him stay with the twins and their obscure relative for the whole summer spoke volumes to how much he just… wouldn’t be missed. Even she demanded that he call every day. That was just something moms did.

“Alright, maybe I haven’t been the best summer caretaker,” Grunkle Stan admitted with a shrug, placing one hand on Mabel’s shoulder and the other on Dipper’s as he faced all of them. “But I swear, today we’re gonna have some real family fun. Now who wants to put on some blindfolds and get in my car!”

Wirt blinked as the twins cheered, only for Dipper to realize what he had said a beat later. “Wait, what?”

\----

“Ingrates!”

Wirt felt a little guilty as he took the life jacket Soos offered to him upon boarding his boat. Grunkle Stan had really seemed like he wanted them to go fishing with him and it didn’t seem right to leave him all alone… 

But Wirt hadn’t gone on a real monster hunt with Dipper in ages. The last time had been a haunted house when they were eight. He remembered both of them being scared out of their wits by what had to be a ghost, but he couldn’t remember why they stopped adventuring like that. From what he could recall, Dipper had just stopped mentioning them. Wirt had an unsettling feeling that he was the reason for that, because he was a huge baby.

Well, he wouldn’t be a baby about this. After the gnome incident, Dipper had shown him the journal and they’d poured over it together. His best friend babbled excitedly over the details of each entry, cheeks flushed and eyes bright, and Wirt had sworn in that moment to go on every single monster hunt or mystery adventure that his favorite person in the world wanted to embark on. He'd be there for him whenever he needed it. Be whatever he needed. He deserved it. After all, Dipper had always been there for him, through the divorce, through remarriage, through everything. 

It was a promise. A private promise, just for him, but one he wanted to stick with for the whole summer. For the rest of their lives really. 

There was no place Dipper would go that Wirt wouldn’t follow. 

As Soos’s boat sped out along the lake, taking them to Scuttlebutt Island in search of the Gobblewonker that crazy old hillbilly man had been babbling about, the mist rose from the surface of the water and showered them in a light spray. Wirt tugged on the straps of his life jacket to make it more secure, knees wobbling on the unsteady deck, made only more so by Soos’s steering. Watching his feet, he set off in search of Dipper, heading towards the bow of the boat. He was pretty sure he’d seen him head that way. 

Sure enough, he found him perched on the railing, overlooking the water. Wirt fiddled with his life jacket some more as he inched a little bit closer to the edge, then looked up to try and catch Dipper’s eye. Whatever he’d planned on saying dried up on his tongue, his mouth falling open as his eyes rounded.

For some reason, a song popped into his head, synthesized music crescendoing as he gazed at his best friend. Dipper held his head high, one hand on his hip as the other gripped his hat, a satisfied, cocky smirk tugging at his lips. The spray from the water glistened around him in the sunlight, like dazzling pearls as the lake breeze wafted through his chocolate curls. _ _

_ I want to know what love is, I want you to show me. _

Wirt’s heart started to pound. Why was Foreigner suddenly stuck in his head? And why was it timed so perfectly to the way Dipper tossed his head, slowly turning his way to look down on him, seeing only him with his intense, smoldering gaze. Wirt’s breath hitched. 

_ I want to feel what love is. I know you can show me. _

“Hoist the anchor!” Dipper called out, jerking Wirt out of his spastic little daydream. They were becoming increasingly more frequent as of late, just like the poetry. It was mildly worrying. “Raise the flag!”

Wirt looked over his shoulder, realizing the commands for Soos and Mabel as one reeled in an algae-coated cinder block and the other lifted a beach towel with a smiling sun on it that read: “FUN.” Wirt flushed with embarrassment. Here he was daydreaming when they were supposed to be going on a monster hunt. 

“Square the sail!” There was a pause, then Dipper cleared his throat. “I said, square the sail!”

“Huh?” Wirt blinked, turning back to face him. “Oh- were you-? Was that-? Sorry. What did you say?”

Dipper hopped down from his perch. “Nah. It’s okay, man. I don’t think we even have a sail to square. I was just having fun with it.” He shrugged, smile leaning toward sheepish and it only made the color in Wirt’s cheeks deepen as Dipper’s excitement flared up, his hands curled into little fists. “Because this is going to be great!”

“Yeah!” Mabel chimed in, their “flag” forgotten so she could throw an arm around them both, bringing them in for a hug. “We’re gonna find that Gobblewonker!”

Dipper grinned at her. “We’re gonna win that photo contest!”

They both looked to Wirt expectantly. “Um… we’re... not gonna sink?”

With a laugh, Dipper reached out to squeeze Wirt’s arm, helping him relax. “We’re not gonna sink,” he confirmed. 

“We’re gonna survive!” Mabel pressed them close so she could rub her cheeks against both of theirs. 

“We’re gonna have fun.” Wirt perked up, fingers curling around Dipper’s forearm. 

“We’re gonna solve a mystery!”

“We’re gonna be rich!” Wirt laughed. 

“We’re gonna be famous!” Dipper beamed at him.

“Do any of you dudes have sunscreen?” Soos suddenly interjected, peering at them from behind the steering wheel. 

Dipper looked to Wirt who looked to Mabel who looked to Dipper. “We’re gonna,” he started when they realized that none of them had any, “go get sunscreen!”

Mabel cheered while Soos turned the boat sharply to head back to shore, making the three of them wobble and fall to the deck in a heap, laughing as they struggled to untangle themselves from one another. Wirt’s hand brushed against Dipper’s accidentally in their attempt to get back up, their gazes meeting. The synthesized music started up in Wirt’s head again, and for a moment he could’ve sworn that they shared some kind of deep, mutual understanding of something. Then the moment was gone, the music screeching to a halt as Dipper grinned and straightened, holding a hand out to help Wirt up. He smiled and took it.

After a quick stop in the shop right off the dock, the four reboarded the boat and set sail once again, a plan for their adventure already in motion involving the seventeen disposable cameras Dipper purchased along with their sunscreen.

They very quickly ended up with only twelve. 

Wirt rubbed Dipper’s shoulder, the gesture consoling after Dipper himself was the cause of smashing the latest one in his frustration. At least Wirt seemed to have a death grip on his cameras, only one of them had been lost in the chaos. It was the one now in pieces thanks to Dipper’s fist. 

“So what’s the plan? Throw more cameras overboard or what?” Mabel was only teasing as she held her bag of cameras over the edge of the boat, but Dipper still jumped as his heart leapt into his throat. 

“No!” he blurted, embarrassment creeping along his neck when Mabel flashed him her braces in a broad grin. “No. Okay. You’ll be lookout, Soos can work the steering wheel, I’ll be captain, and Wirt can-”

“What?” Wirt didn’t find out what his planned assignment was as Mabel dropped the bag of cameras at her feet to properly gape at her twin. “Why do you get to be captain? What about Mabel, huh?” Her smile returned as she gestured to herself. “Mabel, Mabel, Mabel,” she chanted. 

“Uh…” Wirt pursed his lips, shoulders hunching as he exchanged glances with Dipper. 

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” Dipper decided quickly. 

That didn’t deter Mabel in the slightest. “What about co-captain?” she suggested. 

Dipper frowned, hands going to his hips as he immediately shot that down, too. “There’s no such thing as co-captain.”

Mabel’s smile faded, her expression blank as she reached down for the sack of cameras. Wirt and Dipper watched her, unblinking as she reached in and pulled out a single disposable camera. “Uh… whoops.” She tossed it over her shoulder and they were down to eleven when it landed in the lake with a splash. 

Dipper’s jaw dropped dramatically and Wirt’s shoulders sagged. She made a very convincing argument. “Okay, fine!” Dipper hurried to agree before she could destroy any more cameras. “You can be co-captain.”

“Can I be associate co-captain?” Soos asked.

Mabel beamed, head held high with her new rank. “As co-captain, I authorize that request.”

Struggling to regain his position of leadership, Dipper lifted his hands and interjected, trying to get their mission back on track. “Well, as _ first  _ co-captain, our number one order of business-”

“Wait, you didn’t make Wirt a co-captain yet!” Mabel interrupted and Dipper clenched his fists as he groaned.

Wirt pressed his lips together tightly, wanting to move on so Dipper could get to his point. “That’s okay- I don’t want to be a co-captain,” he told her, waving his hands in front of him to dissuade her. “I can just- uh- I’ll be-”

Mabel gasped, pressing her hands to her cheeks. “You can be my parrot!”

“Wait, what?” Wirt dropped his hands, expression falling into a pout. “I don’t want to be a parrot.”

“Guys-”

“Why wouldn’t you want to be my parrot? I’ll feed you lots of crackers.” Mabel winked at him, elbowing him in the side. “And you’ll get to ride on my shoulder.”

“I can’t fit on your shoulder.”

“We’ll see about that.”

“Mabel, stop it! He’s not going to be your parrot!” Dipper stepped between them, his arm going around Wirt’s waist to tug him close. “He’s  _ my _ first mate.”

“What? How come you get a first mate?” Mabel crossed her arms, gaze narrowing as she leaned in towards him. 

“Soos can be your first mate,” Dipper offered as some sort of compromise. 

“Soos is associate co-captain, he can’t be my first mate, Dipper,” she replied, as if it were obvious.

“Well, then I guess you don’t get a first mate.”

“Then you shouldn’t get a first mate either.”

“I’ll be both your first mates?” Wirt squeaked, raising his hand as his gaze flitted between them. 

It appeased Mabel, but left Dipper pouting even though he said nothing so they could finally get to the monster hunting part of their monster hunt. “Fine. As I was saying, our number one order of business is to lure the monster out with- uh...” Dipper looked around, perking up some when his gaze fell on a barrel labeled “Fish Food.” He latched onto Wirt’s life jacket and tugged him along as he took a few steps closer to gesture grandly at it. “With this.” 

Soos shuffled over to it, lifting his hand as he asked, “Permission to taste some?”

The three twelve-year-olds stared at him for a beat. 

“Granted,” Dipper conceded with a shrug.

“Permission co-granted,” Mabel piped up. 

With a solemn expression, Soos started to lower his hand into the barrel. “Permission associate co-granted.” His fingers hovered over a chunk of fish food, but he didn’t pick it up, gaze trained on Wirt.

“Uh…” Wirt shuffled his feet, glancing at Dipper who simply shrugged again. “Permission uh… first mate-granted? I- I really don’t think I have any authority over you, Soos. You don’t have to wait for me to say-” He stopped himself when Soos grabbed the fish food and licked it. “Ew.”

Wirt’s nose wrinkled at the mere thought of tasting it, and Soos’s reaction didn’t help much. He sputtered and gagged, swiping at his tongue to rid it off the taste while Mabel and Dipper dissolved into a fit of laughter over the fact that he actually did it. “Dude, I don’t know what I expected that to taste like,” he admitted to Wirt while the twins doubled over.

“I don’t know what you did either,” he told him honestly, wondering not for the first time if Soos was really an adult or just a fellow kid in disguise.

\----

Though the lake didn’t seem that big, the cover of fog that descended upon them the closer they got to the island made it seem like they were miles away from civilization. The wreckage of old boats and what looked to be dead trees reaching out from under the water surrounding them didn’t help either. It was eerie. Too eerie for what had started as a family fun day on the lake. 

Wirt wished they’d stayed in the little fishing boat with Grunkle Stan.

Except no, he didn’t. He promised he’d be better. Dipper was growing up and Wirt needed to keep up if he wanted to keep his place by his side. If growing up meant real monster hunts, then that was what they were going to do. 

There was a sudden slosh sound and Wirt gasped, whirling about for the source. Dipper was at his side in an instant and scanned the water for any sign of a lake monster. It was only Soos. He was shoveling fish food into the water to lure out the Gobblewonker, just like Dipper had instructed. Wirt placed his hand over his heart, the other reaching blindly to find the back of Dipper’s life vest. His fingers sought purchase in the spongy material, but it wasn’t very grippable.

Dipper helped by taking his hand. Scaring Wirt wasn’t and never would be part of the plan. “Don’t worry, man. We’re going to get that picture and win the contest, no problem.”

“R-right. Yeah. No- no problem.” Wirt rocked on the balls of his feet to dispel some of his nervous energy, gaze flicking from the water and the spooky mist to his best friend, managing a smile for him. “I mean, it’s not like we have to get  _ super _ close or anything to get a good picture. Just- just moderately close, you know, like-  _ ah _ !” 

Something suddenly landed on his head, big and heavy and Wirt’s eyes went wide as he yelped and jumped, one hand hurrying to bat away whatever it was. It took flight, and Wirt took the opportunity to hide behind Dipper, peering out from behind his shoulder only to flush with embarrassment. “A… a pelican,” he wheezed, watching the big-billed bird as it landed on the railing by the bow. “O-oh…”

Mabel gasped, wasting no time in greeting the feathered stowaway. “Hey, how’s it going?”

Grasping its large bill, she spoke for it, tone gruff and low. “It’s going awesome!”

Dipper placed his free hand on his hip, the other still clutched in Wirt’s, and glared at his twin as she continued to play with it. “Mabel, leave that thing alone.”

“Aw,” she made it say. “I don’t mind none.”

Grinning even while Dipper pulled Wirt closer to his side to keep him safe from anything else that might fly by, she pointed at a glass of water. “Hey, look, I’m drinking water!”

She tipped the glass back, the pelican voice warbling obviously as she attempted a verse of “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.” She made it through three garbled words before water rushed down the wrong pipe, leaving her coughing loud enough to scare the bird away.

Wirt’s lips couldn’t help quirking up, his nerves abated while watching Mabel’s little routine. He glanced at Dipper and bumped their hips together, casting him a reassuring smile. Sure, he was a little jumpy because of spooky mist, but that didn’t mean that he couldn’t handle a monster hunt. He absolutely could. 

Though something did occur to him when he realized that Soos was driving the boat and the three of them were just standing there. “Um… if everyone’s a co-captain or a first mate… who’s being lookout?” 

Dipper blinked, again aiming a glare at his twin. This time both hands were on his hips, reassured enough that Wirt was okay for the time being. “Aren’t  _ you  _ supposed to be doing lookout?”

She snatched up a volleyball without warning and chucked it at her brother. “Look out!” she shouted, hitting him in the shoulder with the ball. When Dipper winced, rubbing the struck arm, Mabel propped her elbows onto the railing with a laugh, cheeks in her palms. “No, but seriously, I’m on it.”

The boat immediately slammed into something, all three kids rattled. Mabel was the first to recover, grabbing the railing to lift herself back up. “See? We’re here! I’m a lookout genius. Hamster ball, here we come!”

Sighing, Dipper grabbed a lantern and offered a hand to Wirt to help him up. “Come on, man.”

Even though they might’ve been a bit too old for holding hands, their hands remained linked as they wandered away from the shore and into the cover of trees. There was rustling in the leaves, the mist even thicker on the island than on the water, and Wirt was relieved that Dipper had the lantern with him to help guide their way. Without it, there was no way they’d be able to see a thing.

The four of them passed a sign that read “Scuttlebutt Island” with a smaller one propped up next to it that clearly stated - even more clearly than Dipper’s mosquito bites - “Beware.” Wirt nudged Dipper a little as they walked, the other two pausing to read the sign. “The ‘Beware’ probably just means, ‘beware the Gobblewonker.’ Right?”

More nervous than he wanted to let on, Dipper nodded. “Yeah, totally.” But he laced their fingers.

“Dude, check it out!” Far more amused by the sign than Dipper or Wirt, Mabel and Soos both got a laugh out of covering up the “Scuttle” part of the main sign. “Butt Island!”

“Soos, you rapscallion!” Mabel accused playfully, and took note of the two unamused boys. “Hey! Why aren’t you laughing? Are you... scared?” she teased, aiming sly finger guns at them.

“Pssh!” Dipper immediately abandoned Wirt’s hand, manliness threatened, to cross his arms. “Yeah, right, I’m not-”

“Pbbt!” Mabel poked his nose. “Yeah, you are!”

“Hey!” She poked him twice more, punctuating the moves with more raspberries. “Quit it!”

Mabel only continued, attempts to cheer him up more annoying and painful than she meant them to be. He flinched, the lantern falling as he tried to duck out of her range, her pokes switching to the top of his head. “Stop- Mabel- ah- nyah!”

“Pbbt! Pbbt! Pbbt! Pbbbbffft!”

“Mabel- Mabel, I think that’s enough.” Wirt wrung his hands together to make up for the loss of Dipper’s, lips pressing in a tight line when she refused to let up. He reached out and grabbed onto one of her wrists. “Mabel, stop it-”

Wirt’s protests were cut off as a low, warble-like groan wafted through the trees. His heart stopped, the sound very much an otherworldly monster-sound. Even Mabel was rattled, her wrist falling from his grasp as she went to hug Soos for comfort, Wirt’s arms wrapping around himself as his gaze darted from tree to tree. 

Soos checked their surroundings warily. “Dude, did you guys hear that?”

“Was it your stomach?” Mabel asked.

“Nah, my stomach normally sounds like whale noises.”

While Mabel put her ear to Soos's stomach, Dipper banded an arm around Wirt’s waist, giving him a squeeze. “Don’t worry, okay? I’ve got this totally under-” He couldn't finish that sentence, gasping as an opossum ran by, the handle of their lightsource caught in its teeth before it disappeared into the mists. “Our lantern!” Squinting, he lifted a hand flat above his eyes as if it would help his vision. “Ah, I can’t see anything!”

“Yeah, um… what- what was that about having this under control?” Wirt squeaked out, both hands grasping onto the one Dipper had resting against his waist. “I don’t- um- m-maybe we should go back to the boat? I think we should go back to the boat-” He cut himself off suddenly, wide-eyed as he looked at Dipper’s face and remembered his promise to himself. “For flashlights!” he blurted out, sporting a nervous smile. “I bet the boat has flashlights and then, you know, we’d be able to see what we can’t without the- without the lantern.”

“Dude, I don’t know, man.” Soos squinted suspiciously through the mist, then shrugged a little. “Maybe this isn’t worth it.”

“_Not _ worth it?” Aghast, Dipper flicked his gaze between the three of them. “Guys, imagine what would happen if we got that picture!”

His gaze traveled skyward, mind drifting into just that, and all three preteens envisioned something similar. To a degree. Wirt doubted the twins’ fantasies involved Foreigner being piped in somewhere in the background while he stared at Dipper longingly. 

_ I want to know what love is. _

This was getting ridiculous. For crying out loud, Dipper didn’t have five o’clock shadow. He was  _ twelve. _ It didn’t stop the very tempting urge for Wirt to touch the foreign stubble on his friend’s face from welling up inside him though, and the thought lingered a little even after he snapped out of it thanks to Mabel breaking in with her human-sized hamster ball. 

As the fantasy faded for all of them, the twins were both grinning. “I’m in!” Dipper decided, as if there had ever been doubt.

Mabel threw her hands skyward. “Me too!”

Eager and expectant, both looked to Wirt. He squirmed helplessly under their combined stares. He caught Dipper's eye, cheeks warming as his smile made his stomach flutter. 

“Y-yeah. Yeah, me too- three. Me three.”

The twins cheered and immediately ran into the mists, Dipper latching onto Wirt’s hand once again to keep him within sight and Soos followed behind. “Alright, dudes, I’m coming!”

\----

So the monster at the end of their monster hunt hadn’t been a real monster, unless you counted Old Man McGucket. If the question in Frankenstein was whether or not Victor was the monster or the creature, then Wirt supposed the same could be said of this inventor and his… inventions. But the point was that there was no actual Gobblewonker, no lake monster, and no pictures to land them one thousand dollars.

Also, Soos no longer had a boat, which Wirt felt pretty bad about, but Soos assured him that he could fix it. He was a handyman, after all. And at least what was left of it could putter across the lake so they could meet up with Grunkle Stan. 

Even if the monster hunt had been a bust, the hillbilly had given them an idea of what they could use their remaining disposable camera on.

The four of them piled into Stan’s little boat, Dipper and Mabel wearing the hats their great uncle had made for them. Wirt smiled at the “Dippy” stitched on Dipper’s, taking a seat beside him. Maybe fishing wasn’t as cool as monster hunting, but it didn’t look like Dipper minded all that much. Wirt certainly didn’t. Any time spent with his best friend seemed like a good enough time to him. And if it cheered up their great uncle, well, that couldn’t be too bad either.

Dipper snapped a few pictures of them as they spent the last remaining hours of daylight out on the water, and Wirt offered to take a few so the whole family could be in some of them. Dipper, Mabel, and Stan. And Soos, too.

“C’mere, Wirt. Get in this next one with us.” Dipper waved him over.

“Oh, no, that’s okay. I mean, this is of your family and I’m not- I’m not really-”

“What are you talking about? Of course you’re family,” Mabel laughed, rolling her eyes like he’d never said anything more ridiculous in his whole life.

“But-”

Grunkle Stan snorted as well, digging something out from the bottom of the boat. “Get over here, kid. And put this on. Forgot to give this to you earlier. Must’ve been sitting on it or something,” he grumbled, then threw a floppy piece of fabric at him.

Wirt caught in and stared at the hand-stitched name on a hat that matched the twins’.  _ Wurt_. Definitely not how he spelled it, but he had a feeling that might’ve been on purpose. He glanced up at Stan, but the old man was too busy trying to help Soos out of the tangle of fishing line he’d somehow gotten himself caught up in.

“This… this is for me?”

“It’s got your name on it, doesn’t it, kid?”

“Well, not really, but-”

“It’s Family Fun Day. Put the hat on and get in the stupid picture. Geez Louise.”

Wirt fiddled with the hat, then put it on and shuffled over to sit between Dipper and Mabel as they sought out another boat to get this picture for them. His thigh bumped against Dipper’s knee and they looked at each other, then grinned. Mabel squished up against him and poked his cheek, eyes lighting up with her laugh as Wirt swatted her away with a chuckle of his own. After a few ridiculous poses and a run-in with the lake police - which was just the regular police in a boat on the lake - Dipper reclined between the seats, propped up by Wirt’s legs as they enjoyed the lake air on their faces. He reached up and gave Wirt’s knee a pat before craning his neck back to smile at him.

“So… welcome to the family, I guess,” Dipper chuckled.

Wirt laughed and squeezed his hand. “Thanks. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

“You say that now.”

“I’ll say that always,” Wirt swore, crossing his heart.

Dipper shook his head, but his smile brightened as he settled against him once again. “I’m gonna hold you to that, man. Might mean officiating more contests with me and Mabel and putting up with the two of us arguing over you.”

“So basically what I've been doing my entire life since I was five? I think I can handle that.”

“Good.” Dipper hummed and closed his eyes. “Don’t know if I said it yet, but I’m glad you’re here, Wirt.”

He smiled at him, warm and fuzzy and light, the synthesized love songs in his head pounding in time with his heart. “Me too, Dipper.”


End file.
